TWO-WEEK WAIT
TWO-WEEK WAIT
My partner and I have only been told that we weren’t pregnant once. So, I can only speak about that particular instance. See we’ve actually been through 4 cycles but only used our donor sperm on the 4th cycle. But because we’ve only used our sample once doesn’t minimize the feelings we have of being a failure. Well not us actually being failures, but of the actual “process” failing.
The first three cycles were with Clomid, which did absolutely nothing in helping her follicles to grow to the proper size for insemination. The fourth cycle was with Femara, which actually grew the follicles and thickened the lining, so we were able to use our sample on this particular cycle.
I can’t imagine what a couple is feeling, who has gone through 8 or 9 cycles and has not gotten pregnant once.But that could very well be use, as we are in this for the duration and really want a baby.
The two-week wait or 2WW is about the most agonizing thing I’ve gone through.This is the time between insemination and the day of the pregnancy test.You start with high hopes.The day of the insemination, I was smiling and so happy because I was thinking, “Here we go on starting the process of having our baby”. But by the end of the 2WW, I was stressed and agonizing over ever little sign.
I found myself asking, “Is she nauseous?” Does that mean she’s pregnant? “She’s sleeping a lot.” Does that mean she’s pregnant? No, not really because she does that anyway. “She’s eating a lot.” Does that mean she’s pregnant? No, not really because she does that a lot anyway too. You begin to look for signs of hope in the smallest thing.
Then, the spotting begins.I’ve learned that spotting can mean absolutely nothing. There is such a thing as “Implantation Bleeding”. It’s when a woman actually spots around the 10-12th day after insemination. The egg has actually implanted itself into the uterus.The spotting is usually brownish or bright red in color. In all actuality it resembles what happens to most women a day or two before their actual period begins. So again, I found myself asking, “Is this just Implantation Bleeding?” Or is it actually her period starting in which case that would mean she is not pregnant and we have to start this process over again.
The day you have your pregnancy test, you usually go into the doctor’s office that morning and they tell you they’ll call you between 2-4pm with the results.This was the longest day of my life.I wanted to find something to occupy my mind like going to the gym, but I still found myself thinking about the freaking test every minute.
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And then the call finally comes. Negative! It’s disheartening. It’s a big let down. After you get over the initial disappointment that you guys are not having a baby yet, then you come to grips with the fact that you must go through this process all over again. “Is it worth it?” And the answer, to me and my partner is a resounding, YES!
And to all of you out there who are going through process, I finally feel your pain.I am empathetic and sympathetic. And I say to you, hang in there. And think about the fact that when your son or daughter becomes a teenager, you can show them the bill and say to them, “This is how much we wanted you.” “Now go to your room”.